Book Review - How Proust Can Change Your Life - Alain de Botton

11 Dec 2023

I have so much to say about this that this review and praise for the book will never be enough. But for now, I am just glad that I got to read this masterpiece and got to know about the life of probably the greatest writer of the 20th century. Take a bow, Marcel Proust.

There’s a section in this book that’s about books and how to put them down. Proust had all the answers, and his answers also quite changed as he evolved with his own thoughts over the years. Here, Proust, when he’s struggling with his life when 28, ends up reading John Ruskin, and here’s what the section reads about Ruskin’s works. I have similar words about Proust after reading him through this book:

‘The universe suddenly regained infinite value in my eyes,’ explained Proust subsequently; because the universe had had such value in Ruskin’s eyes, and because he had been a genius at transmuting his impressions into words. Ruskin had expressed things which Proust might have felt himself, but could not have articulated on his own; in Ruskin, he found experiences which he had never been more than semi-conscious of, raised and beautifully assembled in language.

There’s also a part in the book when Virginia Woolf reads Proust and is so mesmerized by his works that she stops reading. Eventually, she resumes the activity and her writing. We put so much emphasis on finishing books, completing reading challenges, spending time every day so that we finish pages, and more. But today, this is the book that makes me feel that it is enough, and I to take a pause to process this book. In comparison to this and Proust’s life and deeds, everything else is microscopic — in terms of impact, feelings, brilliance of writing, thoughts, philosophy, and just everything. It’s going to be a challenge picking up my next book; I don’t wish to spoil this feeling. I can now relate to why some folks keep some books as a central figure in their lives and keep going back at it, like the holy ones.

But I am equally glad that I read book after book this year, spent time with them, had conversations about them, and closely looked at the collections at cheap book sales so that I could get my hands on this one — the place where I also suggested a man not to purchase a certain work by a dictator who was also alive and kicking (literally) around the time when Proust was writing his brilliance. One man killing the world with words and the other one with his guns.

Reading this book wasn’t easy; there are parts that needed concentration, chats with ChatGPT, asking fellow literature friends, and still being confused and skipping some sections (otherwise I would have never finished this book). Every passage is brilliant; the comparisons are mind-blowing, and they just leave you with a “wow.” I always struggle to answer questions like “Who’s your favorite X?” but now I think I will confidently answer — Alain de Botton is one of my favorite writers for the rest of my life.

There are moments when I just paused and reflected, just stared at the ceiling appreciating the piece of writing I had read. It made me form new connections, gave me a million thoughts at once, and gave me flashbacks of the entire life. I also cried once.

As I look at the next book that I plan to read after this, about an Indian bureaucrat and his life, I realized that there are two types of books — one that gives you facts and knowledge and one that gives you memories. I’ve more and more started to seek and enjoy the latter; this book is an experience. Also, I feel I’ve read enough books that give you knowledge. This one’s for the mind; this one’s for the thoughts and the brain.

Particularly, this book is quite similar to the one written by Sarah Bakewell, At the Esistentialist Cafe — a compilation of the life of three (and many others) philosophers written with the lens of one author. I’ll surely get more such books; love this genre. I also read a pretty funny book, Love Voltaire Us Apart by Julia Edelman and Hallie Bateman, again, a similar theme.

Not just that, a section in this book was also enough for me to go bald and also get a clean shave. It has surely enhanced my thoughts, the way I look at the world, the emptiness in things and thoughts around us, the comparison of nothing with everything, and has surely made me appreciate books, literature, and writing a lot more. I am positive this will reflect in my thoughts, conversations, and my writings.

Every action and small object are worthy of appreciation, and one can spend an entire lifetime dissecting it with words, memories, philosophy, and stories. When I wake up and uncover myself from the blankets, that can be compared to how the sunset gives way to the moon and the night, to how a baby comes in this world leaving a womb and taking his first breath in the real world, to the feeling you get after your first sexual climax with a new romance — all are new beginnings, like how the first ray of the sun disturbs your face and you wake up when sleeping outdoors on a hot summer night.

I feel there’s some amount of pain and suffering necessary for someone to put out such a piece of brilliance to the world. That’s the one that brings out the real emotions and authenticity in writing. Proust had enough; the pain is vital in life, and it will always be there — pain is the cause, art of the remedy.

There are books, and then there are books that change you; in this case, it says in the title — and if you were to put a question mark at the end of the title of this book, I’ll confidently answer, yes, Proust can change your life.

You can check another fun piece in which I compared my personality to Proust here and see the highlights from the book here.

Other books mentioned in this piece — At the Existentialist Café by Sarah Bakewell and Love Voltaire Us Apart by Julia Edelman and Hallie Bateman.

Summary of the book by ChatGPT:

“How Proust Can Change Your Life” is a literary self-help book by Alain de Botton that draws inspiration from Marcel Proust’s monumental work, “In Search of Lost Time.” The book is presented in a unique format, blending biography, literary criticism, and self-help advice.

1. Introduction to Proust’s Life: De Botton begins by providing an overview of Marcel Proust’s life, emphasizing his reclusive nature, struggle with illness, and dedication to writing a novel that captures the nuances of human experience.
2. The Power of Observation: The book highlights Proust’s keen observational skills and encourages readers to pay attention to the small details in life. De Botton suggests that by being more mindful, individuals can find meaning and beauty in ordinary moments.
3. Time and Self-Reflection: Proust’s exploration of time becomes a central theme. De Botton discusses how the author’s reflections on the passage of time can prompt readers to reassess their priorities and consider the impact of time on personal development.
4. The Art of Reading: De Botton explores the transformative power of literature, particularly Proust’s novel, and how reading can provide solace, understanding, and a broader perspective on life’s challenges.
5. Love and Relationships: Proust’s insights on love and relationships are dissected, emphasizing the complexities of human connections. The book explores themes such as jealousy, unrequited love, and the ways in which relationships shape our identity.
6. Finding Happiness: De Botton discusses Proust’s perspective on the pursuit of happiness, arguing that genuine fulfillment comes from within and requires self-awareness, self-acceptance, and an appreciation for life’s complexities.
7. Balancing Routine and Adventure: Proust’s approach to routine and adventure is explored, encouraging readers to find a balance between the comfort of familiar routines and the excitement of new experiences.
8. Social Etiquette: The book delves into Proust’s observations on social etiquette, emphasizing the importance of sincerity over superficial politeness in human interactions.
9. Applying Proustian Wisdom: Throughout the book, de Botton provides practical advice on how readers can apply Proustian insights to their own lives, offering a blend of literary analysis and self-help guidance.

In essence, “How Proust Can Change Your Life” serves as a guide to living a more thoughtful, introspective, and fulfilling existence by drawing on the wisdom found in Marcel Proust’s literary masterpiece.

Notes for this piece